[It's good that he's gotten hang of the mental link by now, because there's a tiny, plaintive part of him that wants to say that he shouldn't have to hang around all of Ken's friends to know when something monumental goes on in his life.
(He wouldn't survive it, he doesn't think. All those loud voices, all those loud personalities... Jaime would be lost in the crowd.)
Instead, what he says is simple, quiet.]
I want to hear when good things happen to you too.
[Ken's silence here is tense. For all that thinking he usually gets up to, there isn't a peep from him even with their minds linked. It's all emotions right now, welling up in his chest and making Kala-Nemi shift restlessly in his mind.
Eventually, he speaks up.]
I'll introduce you when I get you back. Both of you. Right now, that's all I can think about -- if I can't get you back, then none of this matters.
[This always happens whenever Jaime gets his feelings hurt. Every time, it revolves back to that one thing he always tells himself: stop being selfish. Think about how they feel right now.
He always winds up feeling guilty in return, both for discounting others' feelings, and for getting wrapped up in his own in the first place. His feelings are still hurt (and will continue to be hurt, frankly; he has nothing but time to stew it over) but Ken's probably hurting much more.]
...you're right. This isn't the time.
[Not for Ken, anyway. The imPort hostages have nothing to do but talk.]
We will be coming back, Ken, one way or another. I know we will. I know you've gotta be worried as hell--heck damn the mental -- darn the...
[Oops. He swears a lot more in his head than he does out loud.]
...you've gotta be worried, but I know we'll make it out.
... I'm going to get you out. No matter what it takes.
[He doesn't know about Jaime's emotional turmoil. Just as he said, he doesn't have room in his mind or heart to worry about anything but getting these people back. Without them, he's missing too large a piece of his world, and he doesn't know how to focus on anything but getting it back.]
[Okay, uh, not the parts about oh I can fight people no problem, but as long as Ken's dedicated to staying alive, that's all he asks for. If Russian soldiers die in the process...
God. It's against everything he stands for, but this is war. War is different. He doesn't want Ken to kill anyone, to have to have that on his shoulders, but if someone else does it to keep him safe, that's okay. Probably.]
[Shinji will take care of Ken. Maybe not emotionally, not as much as Minato would, but he'll keep Ken safe, and keep him from doing anything stupid. And, heck, they understand each other, don't they? Shinji can take care of Ken emotionally in his own way, in a way everyone else can't.
He's got faith in the guy.]
Do me a favour and stay close to him if you can, okay? And pass on a message from me -- tell him I'll be counting on him. [That's kind of mushy, isn't it?]
...and tell him that I stole his new game, in case he was wondering where that went.
[As if aggrieved:] He kept on saying the only way to win was to kill literally everyone! I was only gonna take it for a day to prove him wrong and then give it back. Sooooooo... yeah, he was totally in the middle of it.
[He doesn't sound too repentant about it, though.]
I think he'll be sticking close to you and Koromaru. And you keep an eye on him too, okay? I know using Castor ain't easy for him. You guys can look out for each other.
[...and that's a good way to keep them together, if they're both bonded by a mutual sense of duty.]
If it can be helped, I'm going to try so he doesn't have to. Only if he's willing to, but I don't think we'll be using our Personas anyway.
I'm angry. I'm really angry that they did this to you -- but Aragaki-san won't want to use Castor to hurt people, and I don't want to do that with Kala-Nemi, either.
Good. I'm glad. Anger's not always a bad thing. It can help you get stuff done, but...
[Jaime sighs, and winds up spouting what he says to Khaji -- what he says to himself. Because like it or not, sometimes hurting people would feel good. Sometimes, when they've done something really bad, it's satisfying, hurting them.
He's careful about that. He always is.]
Sometimes getting too angry makes you do things you regret later. Just be careful, okay? If you have to hurt people to protect yourself, do it. [He has no compunctions with that one. If Ken needs to kill to protect himself, that's just the way it has to be.] It's just when it feels good that you guys have a problem.
If I start to feel that way, I'll pull back. I don't know if I can say either way.
[After all, Ken goes out more often than not to burn off stress with violence and physical exertion. Sparring, training, just running around until he got exhausted. Will it start to feel good to beat up the people who hurt his friends?
Probably. But for Jaime's sake, he'll have to watch himself. Even he doesn't want to really be that sort of person, either.]
Will you let me know if anything happens or changes?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[Once a SEES, always a SEES]
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I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wasn't leaving you out. I didn't tell anybody!
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(He wouldn't survive it, he doesn't think. All those loud voices, all those loud personalities... Jaime would be lost in the crowd.)
Instead, what he says is simple, quiet.]
I want to hear when good things happen to you too.
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Eventually, he speaks up.]
I'll introduce you when I get you back. Both of you. Right now, that's all I can think about -- if I can't get you back, then none of this matters.
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He always winds up feeling guilty in return, both for discounting others' feelings, and for getting wrapped up in his own in the first place. His feelings are still hurt (and will continue to be hurt, frankly; he has nothing but time to stew it over) but Ken's probably hurting much more.]
...you're right. This isn't the time.
[Not for Ken, anyway. The imPort hostages have nothing to do but talk.]
We will be coming back, Ken, one way or another. I know we will. I know you've gotta be worried as hell--heck damn the mental -- darn the...
[Oops. He swears a lot more in his head than he does out loud.]
...you've gotta be worried, but I know we'll make it out.
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[He doesn't know about Jaime's emotional turmoil. Just as he said, he doesn't have room in his mind or heart to worry about anything but getting these people back. Without them, he's missing too large a piece of his world, and he doesn't know how to focus on anything but getting it back.]
So stay alive until then, okay?
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But Ken, listen to me. Be careful. These people are dangerous, and whatever you're doing is dangerous, and...
[And saving them isn't worth their lives. Not Ken's life, anyway.]
You need to stay alive to come and meet me once we get out too. Alive, and well.
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If the universe couldn't kill me, I won't die here. I promise -- there's no getting you back if I'm not there to have you back, either.
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[Okay, uh, not the parts about oh I can fight people no problem, but as long as Ken's dedicated to staying alive, that's all he asks for. If Russian soldiers die in the process...
God. It's against everything he stands for, but this is war. War is different. He doesn't want Ken to kill anyone, to have to have that on his shoulders, but if someone else does it to keep him safe, that's okay. Probably.]
Is Minato with you, at least?
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Usually we'd all move together, but -- um, there's a lot to do. I don't want to go into details just in case. But I won't be alone.
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[Shinji will take care of Ken. Maybe not emotionally, not as much as Minato would, but he'll keep Ken safe, and keep him from doing anything stupid. And, heck, they understand each other, don't they? Shinji can take care of Ken emotionally in his own way, in a way everyone else can't.
He's got faith in the guy.]
Do me a favour and stay close to him if you can, okay? And pass on a message from me -- tell him I'll be counting on him. [That's kind of mushy, isn't it?]
...and tell him that I stole his new game, in case he was wondering where that went.
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He's going to be so mad at you for that. I bet he's been wanting to play it. Did you take it in the middle of his game? That'll be even worse.
I'll make sure to stick with him. He'll be doing the same too I'm sure -- Koromaru's there.
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[He doesn't sound too repentant about it, though.]
I think he'll be sticking close to you and Koromaru. And you keep an eye on him too, okay? I know using Castor ain't easy for him. You guys can look out for each other.
[...and that's a good way to keep them together, if they're both bonded by a mutual sense of duty.]
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I'm angry. I'm really angry that they did this to you -- but Aragaki-san won't want to use Castor to hurt people, and I don't want to do that with Kala-Nemi, either.
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[Jaime sighs, and winds up spouting what he says to Khaji -- what he says to himself. Because like it or not, sometimes hurting people would feel good. Sometimes, when they've done something really bad, it's satisfying, hurting them.
He's careful about that. He always is.]
Sometimes getting too angry makes you do things you regret later. Just be careful, okay? If you have to hurt people to protect yourself, do it. [He has no compunctions with that one. If Ken needs to kill to protect himself, that's just the way it has to be.] It's just when it feels good that you guys have a problem.
good place to wrap this up?
[After all, Ken goes out more often than not to burn off stress with violence and physical exertion. Sparring, training, just running around until he got exhausted. Will it start to feel good to beat up the people who hurt his friends?
Probably. But for Jaime's sake, he'll have to watch himself. Even he doesn't want to really be that sort of person, either.]
Will you let me know if anything happens or changes?
sure thing!
[He won't, in the end, because it will be too chaotic... but they'll be meeting each other shortly afterwards anyway.]