[And he'll let Ken go so he can get everything ready for him. While there was no change in tone, he's glad Ken agreed. If he's well enough to pay him a visit, then there's (hopefully) nothing to worry about.]
[Ken's not entirely enthusiastic about it still much less than he would usually be, but when he arrives at Edgeworth's place at the end of the promised half hour he's there with a polite smile, dressed properly looking perfectly put together. It would be easy to fool anybody if it weren't for their conversation before this.]
[He'll never say it, but Koromaru's backpack is completely, undeniably, a hundred percent endearing. If asked, Edgeworth would call it practical. He might call it clever. He could even go so far as to call it charming, if pressed. But he'll never admit how cute it is.
Not that he's thinking about that at the moment. Right now, his priority is Ken.]
Hmn?
[He sits down, and begins to set up the TV]
I thought you were planning on just staying in today.
[Keep trying, Edgeworth. Ken still remembers what you had to say to wake him up from that weird dream and you called Koromaru cute. But he won't call him out on it. Koromaru knows that he is cute, too. Besides, Ken is distracted by other topics.]
I was. Because I'm not feeling up to being social the way I usually am...
[He raises a hand to rub at the back of his neck. A nervous habit.]
[Edgeworth grows quiet for a moment before he nods.]
I do
[He speaks softly, uncertain about how much to elaborate. Ken certainly doesn't need to hear his problems. He turns his head back towards the television set, but the look on his eyes is distant, like he's barely paying any attention to the screen]
It takes hard work to deal with people sometimes, even people you might ordinarily like. So, sometimes it's easier to spend time with yourself and your thoughts. There are times when this can be useful. The solitude and the silence allows you to think in peace, and you can seek solutions to your problems without the distractions of the outside world. But other times...
[He picks up the remote and presses a few buttons, and waits for the start menu to appear]
Other times, your thoughts are the worst company you can ask for, and they do nothing but weigh you down. In situations like that, it's best to seek out a distraction. I'm not sure which scenario fits you, Ken, but either way...
[Ah, and there it is. Clips of action scenes show up on the television set, while uptempo battle music begins to play]
I'm glad that you and Koromaru were able to come by today.
[The music is seemingly out of place next to their much more somber conversation.]
Ah.
[Or maybe, it's perfect, because Ken is momentarily, but immediately, attracted to the melody, his eyes lifting to the television screen and watching the colorful scenes. He'd always loved hero shows. Before his mother died, and even after she did. He wasn't able to trust adults ever since that policeman laughed at him, but heroes never would do that, right? Even if he knew they were fictional, he couldn't help but be drawn to them. They were his ideal.
He watches it in silence, and when it seems like he'll never answer Edgeworth, he drops his gaze with a sad, wistful smile.]
In May, I almost got crushed by those thoughts and tried to run away from them. From everything. My teammates found me and took me home.
It's not that I was going to run away this time. There's something I have to do tomorrow. Someone I have to talk to. I'm nervous about it.
Just what on earth happened to Ken Amada? Edgeworth of all people knows that he's not too young to see the darkness in the world, especially not with what he knows of Ken's past. While Ken smiles, Edgeworth furrows his brow and considers his next course of action. Should he ask about May? Or should he ask about tomorrow?]
It's very brave of you not to run away, then. But what do you need to discuss, exactly?
[Simple enough, almost trivial when worded that way, but Ken's smile lingers. He thought for a long time that Shinjiro Aragaki hated him. It wasn't just his own life that was ruined that night; whatever life or future Shinjiro had envisioned for himself up until that moment was shattered by the accident -- the accident, not the murder -- and he had been lost since, too. And he'd passed away before getting a chance to pick the pieces back up. Ken was the one that was still alive, and he knew that despite their efforts to communicate more, that fear still lived in both of them. Unless it was put into words, they'll continue to hurt themselves and each other.
He takes a deep breath. Lets it out.]
I want them to be the first person to hear these words, so I can't tell you. But it's very important to us.
[Now that wasn't what he expected. Edgeworth raises his brow, not bothering to hide his surprise, and wonders about the story behind this. Is he talking about a friend? Somebody he had a fight with? Or does the bad blood run deeper than that? Ken may be young, but he's no stranger to darkness, and he can't help but wonder how serious this situation is. Then again... he's young. At his age, the most mild of problems can feel like a complete disaster. He shouldn't jump to conclusions just yet.]
I won't ask you anything else. But, whatever happened between the two of you, I hope that you're able to work through your problems.
[He brings up his hands and links them, fingers weaving through each other as he leans back in his seat. The hero on the scene is shown punching an enemy that'll appear later in the season, a picture of bravery and justice and fairness and all the things Ken wished he felt more confident about having. Heroes are not real. But he wished he could emulate some of their values, sometimes.]
... I'm not confident. I think it'll be arrogant, to think that I could turn things around for them just like that. One word of forgiveness -- even if I don't think there's anything to forgive anymore -- doesn't... it doesn't change what happened. The two of us can't go back, anymore, just like everyone else. And I hurt them a lot, and I know they worry. [He's rambling. He's managing to keep himself somewhat vague, but he's rambling, because he'd sat on these thoughts and feelings all day and Edgeworth had always listened to him patiently, calmly, with critical, logical responses. Even if nothing Ken's seeking now is very logical. He bites his lip momentarily.] But even if it's a small difference, I have to make it. For me, for them... I'm sure that's what would make my mother feel at ease, too, if she's watching somewhere.
But thank you. And... thanks, too, for not pressing.
[While Ken speaks, Edgeworth turns his gaze back to the television set. It's not because he doesn't care. It's not because he's trying to give Ken his space, either. It's because it's the best way he can think of to cover up the blind, terrified panic that has infested every fiber of his being. This conflict spoke of something far more serious than Edgeworth imagined, and - oh dear lord, it involves his mother, too. Just what is he supposed to tell Ken?! He's used to burning bridges, not mending them! Though...hrm. He knows very little of forgiveness, giving or receiving it, but he has some experience with putting his anger aside when a case is on the line. Perhaps he might have something to say after all]
This place...
[He purses his lips together for a moment, gathering his thoughts]
This place has a way of forging strange alliances. Sometimes we're forced to work side by side with people we dislike, or even hate, just to make it through the day.
[Finally he looks at Ken, his expression calm, but serious]
Perhaps you won't be able to turn things around with words of forgiveness. But perhaps you won't need to. If you can establish the groundwork for a truce, then the realities of our new home will do the rest of the work for you.
[Ken isn't sure what he was expecting from Edgeworth. He could easily have reacted with something cryptic, serious -- this man knew not to mince words around him -- but he was just as capable of being kind and compassionate. Ken could've and would've taken either, accepting them, but this is, in a way, more than he had hoped for.
Edgeworth's expression is serious, but Ken's smile remains, even growing calmer.]
We did that a while ago. We promised that we'll try to get to know each other better, take the time to learn more... so I hope you're right. I hope we can get further than that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I'll come over. I'll be there in half an hour?
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[And he'll let Ken go so he can get everything ready for him. While there was no change in tone, he's glad Ken agreed. If he's well enough to pay him a visit, then there's (hopefully) nothing to worry about.]
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... Hi, Mr Edgeworth. How are you?
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I'm doing well. And you?
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If I said I was all right, you'd see right through it, right?
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[And that's all he says as he lets Ken inside. There are no treats for Koromaru this time, but there are snacks and tea, as usual.]
Please, take a seat.
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[There's no worry. Koromaru has his usual little dog backpack, and from it, Ken pulls out treats for the dog himself.]
You just had impeccable timing.
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Not that he's thinking about that at the moment. Right now, his priority is Ken.]
Hmn?
[He sits down, and begins to set up the TV]
I thought you were planning on just staying in today.
no subject
I was. Because I'm not feeling up to being social the way I usually am...
[He raises a hand to rub at the back of his neck. A nervous habit.]
You have days like that too, don't you?
no subject
I do
[He speaks softly, uncertain about how much to elaborate. Ken certainly doesn't need to hear his problems. He turns his head back towards the television set, but the look on his eyes is distant, like he's barely paying any attention to the screen]
It takes hard work to deal with people sometimes, even people you might ordinarily like. So, sometimes it's easier to spend time with yourself and your thoughts. There are times when this can be useful. The solitude and the silence allows you to think in peace, and you can seek solutions to your problems without the distractions of the outside world. But other times...
[He picks up the remote and presses a few buttons, and waits for the start menu to appear]
Other times, your thoughts are the worst company you can ask for, and they do nothing but weigh you down. In situations like that, it's best to seek out a distraction. I'm not sure which scenario fits you, Ken, but either way...
[Ah, and there it is. Clips of action scenes show up on the television set, while uptempo battle music begins to play]
I'm glad that you and Koromaru were able to come by today.
no subject
Ah.
[Or maybe, it's perfect, because Ken is momentarily, but immediately, attracted to the melody, his eyes lifting to the television screen and watching the colorful scenes. He'd always loved hero shows. Before his mother died, and even after she did. He wasn't able to trust adults ever since that policeman laughed at him, but heroes never would do that, right? Even if he knew they were fictional, he couldn't help but be drawn to them. They were his ideal.
He watches it in silence, and when it seems like he'll never answer Edgeworth, he drops his gaze with a sad, wistful smile.]
In May, I almost got crushed by those thoughts and tried to run away from them. From everything. My teammates found me and took me home.
It's not that I was going to run away this time. There's something I have to do tomorrow. Someone I have to talk to. I'm nervous about it.
no subject
Just what on earth happened to Ken Amada? Edgeworth of all people knows that he's not too young to see the darkness in the world, especially not with what he knows of Ken's past. While Ken smiles, Edgeworth furrows his brow and considers his next course of action. Should he ask about May? Or should he ask about tomorrow?]
It's very brave of you not to run away, then. But what do you need to discuss, exactly?
no subject
[Simple enough, almost trivial when worded that way, but Ken's smile lingers. He thought for a long time that Shinjiro Aragaki hated him. It wasn't just his own life that was ruined that night; whatever life or future Shinjiro had envisioned for himself up until that moment was shattered by the accident -- the accident, not the murder -- and he had been lost since, too. And he'd passed away before getting a chance to pick the pieces back up. Ken was the one that was still alive, and he knew that despite their efforts to communicate more, that fear still lived in both of them. Unless it was put into words, they'll continue to hurt themselves and each other.
He takes a deep breath. Lets it out.]
I want them to be the first person to hear these words, so I can't tell you. But it's very important to us.
no subject
I won't ask you anything else. But, whatever happened between the two of you, I hope that you're able to work through your problems.
no subject
... I'm not confident. I think it'll be arrogant, to think that I could turn things around for them just like that. One word of forgiveness -- even if I don't think there's anything to forgive anymore -- doesn't... it doesn't change what happened. The two of us can't go back, anymore, just like everyone else. And I hurt them a lot, and I know they worry. [He's rambling. He's managing to keep himself somewhat vague, but he's rambling, because he'd sat on these thoughts and feelings all day and Edgeworth had always listened to him patiently, calmly, with critical, logical responses. Even if nothing Ken's seeking now is very logical. He bites his lip momentarily.] But even if it's a small difference, I have to make it. For me, for them... I'm sure that's what would make my mother feel at ease, too, if she's watching somewhere.
But thank you. And... thanks, too, for not pressing.
no subject
This place...
[He purses his lips together for a moment, gathering his thoughts]
This place has a way of forging strange alliances. Sometimes we're forced to work side by side with people we dislike, or even hate, just to make it through the day.
[Finally he looks at Ken, his expression calm, but serious]
Perhaps you won't be able to turn things around with words of forgiveness. But perhaps you won't need to. If you can establish the groundwork for a truce, then the realities of our new home will do the rest of the work for you.
no subject
Edgeworth's expression is serious, but Ken's smile remains, even growing calmer.]
We did that a while ago. We promised that we'll try to get to know each other better, take the time to learn more... so I hope you're right. I hope we can get further than that.
no subject
It sounds like you're further ahead than you realize. It may take time, but I trust that you two can figure something out.