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[The next day, after searching everywhere he can think of, he's forced to come to the inevitable conclusion. It's the absence of Koromaru that really clues him in.
Ken isn't here. But maybe he'll come back like Shinjiro did. They always seem to mirror each other. Minato has to hold onto that thought. This shouldn't affect him so much... should it? He's not worried about what'll happen to Ken at home. He knows what happens.
He's not worried... is he?]
If you come back, call me.
Ken isn't here. But maybe he'll come back like Shinjiro did. They always seem to mirror each other. Minato has to hold onto that thought. This shouldn't affect him so much... should it? He's not worried about what'll happen to Ken at home. He knows what happens.
He's not worried... is he?]
If you come back, call me.
[Ken didn't think to check his communicator immediately. He didn't have it on him upon arrival, but the woman who greeted him handed it to him. But it's only now, hours after his return and after he managed to calm down from the rush of emotions and memories that overwhelmed him, that he remembers to open up the phone and figure out what he's missed.
Apparently, that involved messages from the person who had occupied his thoughts more than anybody these last few hours. Weeks. Immediately, his mind flashes back to the horrible two-headed monster and the seal it was attacking, to the brightly-lit abyss in which they fought the Shadow that looked like the person whose texts he was reading now. The powerful, fearless, and compassionate person he called Leader. The person who gave everything for the world. The person who Ken and his friends had been willing to reverse time for.
His hand shakes as he clicks through to his contact page. Presses the CALL button.
The person he missed more than anybody else right now.]
Minato-san.
[He doesn't know what to say. What will he do when Minato Arisato answers?]
Apparently, that involved messages from the person who had occupied his thoughts more than anybody these last few hours. Weeks. Immediately, his mind flashes back to the horrible two-headed monster and the seal it was attacking, to the brightly-lit abyss in which they fought the Shadow that looked like the person whose texts he was reading now. The powerful, fearless, and compassionate person he called Leader. The person who gave everything for the world. The person who Ken and his friends had been willing to reverse time for.
His hand shakes as he clicks through to his contact page. Presses the CALL button.
The person he missed more than anybody else right now.]
Minato-san.
[He doesn't know what to say. What will he do when Minato Arisato answers?]
[It's more than a week later that Ken calls him. Minato stares at the caller ID for a second, as if checking, before he picks up.
Minato wouldn't have called himself depressed for these past ten days. But then, he'd never really call himself depressed. He'd been listless, unmotivated-- causing his classmates and coworkers to ask if he felt under the weather and provoking only a mute nod in return.
Right now, something makes his chest feel tight (relief?) and the entire world around him, the bustle of De Chima as people go about their lives is faded into obscurity (happiness?). He doesn't know what he's feeling. He especially doesn't know what Ken has gone through, doesn't know how far forward he is-- it could be past Minato, even, Minato has no idea what goes on after his death and that thought has always been untouchable before but it's dizzying now in its immediacy. (Dread?)
(Is he still feeling dread? But he'd already died... What is he dreading?)
He takes a silent breath before answering.]
You're back.
[Maybe there should be something else to say there. Not for Minato. He's regressed at least a little in this past more-than-a-week, subsided into a quiet minimum of words. He'll let Ken direct where the conversation goes. It's not about Minato, anyway... Right?]
Minato wouldn't have called himself depressed for these past ten days. But then, he'd never really call himself depressed. He'd been listless, unmotivated-- causing his classmates and coworkers to ask if he felt under the weather and provoking only a mute nod in return.
Right now, something makes his chest feel tight (relief?) and the entire world around him, the bustle of De Chima as people go about their lives is faded into obscurity (happiness?). He doesn't know what he's feeling. He especially doesn't know what Ken has gone through, doesn't know how far forward he is-- it could be past Minato, even, Minato has no idea what goes on after his death and that thought has always been untouchable before but it's dizzying now in its immediacy. (Dread?)
(Is he still feeling dread? But he'd already died... What is he dreading?)
He takes a silent breath before answering.]
You're back.
[Maybe there should be something else to say there. Not for Minato. He's regressed at least a little in this past more-than-a-week, subsided into a quiet minimum of words. He'll let Ken direct where the conversation goes. It's not about Minato, anyway... Right?]
[It's just two short words, but Minato's voice pierces through him like an arrow. It's the first time he's heard this voice -- so clear, so close -- in months, and it hits him all at once that Minato Arisato is alive here. Alive, not the way he and Sanada-san were, but the way Aragaki-san was, with time borrowed from the Porter.
He decided to make it a voice call purposefully. He doesn't think he could have controlled his expression; hadn't Jaime said once that he was terrible at lying? He thinks back to the many silences that had passed between himself and the leader, all the secrets the other had held back, and what they must have meant. And he thinks he understands, now, why Minato had stayed silent. There was Ken's insistence that he wasn't interested, he's sure, but how could someone like Minato have looked at the way Ken was then and told him, Oh by the way, a handful more die, including me?
He thinks he understands, because he closes his eyes and takes a breath, and he thinks about what he had seen. Yukari-san, so closed off, avoiding everyone as much as she could. Aigis-san, so devastated that she tried to 'die' in her own way. And the others, not showing anything but feeling just the same. And he thinks about the Answer the person on the other end of this call had found, at the end of his Journey.
He thinks he understands; he's not ready to talk to Minato about it yet, either. For now, just for now, he wants this moment to last, to pick up where he left off, so he forces a smile even if Minato can't see it and replies,]
Tadaima, Minato-san. It's been a while, huh?
He decided to make it a voice call purposefully. He doesn't think he could have controlled his expression; hadn't Jaime said once that he was terrible at lying? He thinks back to the many silences that had passed between himself and the leader, all the secrets the other had held back, and what they must have meant. And he thinks he understands, now, why Minato had stayed silent. There was Ken's insistence that he wasn't interested, he's sure, but how could someone like Minato have looked at the way Ken was then and told him, Oh by the way, a handful more die, including me?
He thinks he understands, because he closes his eyes and takes a breath, and he thinks about what he had seen. Yukari-san, so closed off, avoiding everyone as much as she could. Aigis-san, so devastated that she tried to 'die' in her own way. And the others, not showing anything but feeling just the same. And he thinks about the Answer the person on the other end of this call had found, at the end of his Journey.
He thinks he understands; he's not ready to talk to Minato about it yet, either. For now, just for now, he wants this moment to last, to pick up where he left off, so he forces a smile even if Minato can't see it and replies,]
Tadaima, Minato-san. It's been a while, huh?
Okaeri.
[It slips out without conscious thought. Minato can't remember the last time he's said that-- literally, he can't remember. He'd never have observed this sort of warm formality with his relatives; he'd never have wasted the words on it, as he'd have thought of it. And certainly when he'd been at the dorm in Iwatodai, he'd always been the one coming home and being met with okaeri nasai! He'd never really had to say it himself since he was home last... except that time Ken had returned after Shinjiro's death. It's just like that now.
Minato doesn't even live in Ken's house. But he lives here, he's alive here, and he truly feels as if Ken has come back home.
It's unnerving. He swallows against the urge to ask him how long he's been gone, from his perspective. He doesn't want to know if Ken doesn't want to tell him. Maybe that's cowardly, but it's also considerate, isn't it? Do they need to talk about it? That won't change anything.
Talking changes so little.]
... It's only been ten days, so, there's not much you've missed.
[It slips out without conscious thought. Minato can't remember the last time he's said that-- literally, he can't remember. He'd never have observed this sort of warm formality with his relatives; he'd never have wasted the words on it, as he'd have thought of it. And certainly when he'd been at the dorm in Iwatodai, he'd always been the one coming home and being met with okaeri nasai! He'd never really had to say it himself since he was home last... except that time Ken had returned after Shinjiro's death. It's just like that now.
Minato doesn't even live in Ken's house. But he lives here, he's alive here, and he truly feels as if Ken has come back home.
It's unnerving. He swallows against the urge to ask him how long he's been gone, from his perspective. He doesn't want to know if Ken doesn't want to tell him. Maybe that's cowardly, but it's also considerate, isn't it? Do they need to talk about it? That won't change anything.
Talking changes so little.]
... It's only been ten days, so, there's not much you've missed.
Edited 2015-09-28 20:00 (UTC)
Yeah. I checked the dates.
[Ken meant it as an echo of that very night, and this short exchange manages to calm down the unease that was clawing at him from inside. Tadaima, and okaeri, greetings that would usually hold no more meeting than an announcement of one's presence and an acknowledgement of it, but right now it's much more than that. He remembers those nights of sitting in the lounge with Junpei, Fuuka, Yukari, and Aigis, listening to them discuss what Minato could be doing today and who he was seeing, making fun of Junpei whenever he threw up his hands and cursed Minato's popularity before reminding them all that he's fine, he has Chidori, but it's still annoying. And they had all looked up instinctively when they heard the door open, automatic smiles and automatic calls of welcome home! that their leader responded to with mumbled greetings or sighs of how tired he was.
The doors to that building are locked now, though. Nobody will be walking through them to a chorus of voices anymore, and Minato will not be walking through any Iwatodai door, not anymore. But here -- but here, it can still happen. Here, there can still be tadaimas and okaeris, and Ken's grip tightens on his phone as he continues, the lie coming easily once he decides he's doing it to protect something. Someone.]
It was only a couple weeks back home, too, so not a lot happened either. November's full moon is still several days away, so it's almost like the Porter glitched me out so that I'll have Kala-Nemi back there, too.
Koromaru's still with me. I guess we're a set.
[Ken meant it as an echo of that very night, and this short exchange manages to calm down the unease that was clawing at him from inside. Tadaima, and okaeri, greetings that would usually hold no more meeting than an announcement of one's presence and an acknowledgement of it, but right now it's much more than that. He remembers those nights of sitting in the lounge with Junpei, Fuuka, Yukari, and Aigis, listening to them discuss what Minato could be doing today and who he was seeing, making fun of Junpei whenever he threw up his hands and cursed Minato's popularity before reminding them all that he's fine, he has Chidori, but it's still annoying. And they had all looked up instinctively when they heard the door open, automatic smiles and automatic calls of welcome home! that their leader responded to with mumbled greetings or sighs of how tired he was.
The doors to that building are locked now, though. Nobody will be walking through them to a chorus of voices anymore, and Minato will not be walking through any Iwatodai door, not anymore. But here -- but here, it can still happen. Here, there can still be tadaimas and okaeris, and Ken's grip tightens on his phone as he continues, the lie coming easily once he decides he's doing it to protect something. Someone.]
It was only a couple weeks back home, too, so not a lot happened either. November's full moon is still several days away, so it's almost like the Porter glitched me out so that I'll have Kala-Nemi back there, too.
Koromaru's still with me. I guess we're a set.
[In some respects, it was easier to die than deal with the aftermath of death. Minato has always been aware of that, always perceived in part that his death was an escape, a release of his duties that was unimpeachable. He was doing them even in death in his case, wasn't he? Maybe he was abandoning them emotionally, but he was keeping them safe for eternity, whatever that meant to him. Obviously that was the more important goal and he'd never regretted choosing it, not really.
But at the same time, if he ever gave himself room to examine it, Minato wouldn't be sure at all that he'd have the fortitude to endure the resulting fallout himself. Life before meeting them had always been a gray slog, drifting through a morass of faceless others that were left indistinct by his apathy. Escaping that was like sleeping, only he never had to wake up. Explaining that to them without hurting them was impossible. And so he'd been relieved none of his teammates here were from after the confrontation with Nyx... and he's relieved again now. His heart rate settles (when had that elevated?) and if he's smart enough or perceptive enough to question this answer, then he elects not to.
Selective self-knowledge has always been his primary coping mechanism. The idea that he's someone that needs protection, or moreso than Ken could need to protect him, has never occurred to him.
Minato lets out a silent breath. The sounds around him filter back in.] That's good. So you have Kala-Nemi again, both ways. I never asked, but that means...
[He grows wistful.] You've found your reason? [Just like he'd found his, eventually. Minato had never known the details of this for Ken before, he'd just known that it'd happened.]
But at the same time, if he ever gave himself room to examine it, Minato wouldn't be sure at all that he'd have the fortitude to endure the resulting fallout himself. Life before meeting them had always been a gray slog, drifting through a morass of faceless others that were left indistinct by his apathy. Escaping that was like sleeping, only he never had to wake up. Explaining that to them without hurting them was impossible. And so he'd been relieved none of his teammates here were from after the confrontation with Nyx... and he's relieved again now. His heart rate settles (when had that elevated?) and if he's smart enough or perceptive enough to question this answer, then he elects not to.
Selective self-knowledge has always been his primary coping mechanism. The idea that he's someone that needs protection, or moreso than Ken could need to protect him, has never occurred to him.
Minato lets out a silent breath. The sounds around him filter back in.] That's good. So you have Kala-Nemi again, both ways. I never asked, but that means...
[He grows wistful.] You've found your reason? [Just like he'd found his, eventually. Minato had never known the details of this for Ken before, he'd just known that it'd happened.]
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